Happy Valentines Day from everyone here at Talking Baws!

Whether you’re spending it with your wife, girlfriend or an ice-cold pint of lager, we hope you’re all having a fantastic day of romance.

However, big hearts and romance aside, we still love a right good laugh. So here are 14 of football’s best known players who will definitely be spending this evening alone.

By Scott MacArthur – @scottmacarthur8

1) Phil Jones

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Ah, the many faces of Phil Jones.

The millions in his bank account may attract some ladies out there… but we don’t imagine that Jones’ facial expression would change much during a heated moment of passion .. and we definitely don’t think the money’s worth it.

2) Mesut Ozil

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He’s definitely got the look. But it’s more of an amphibian kind of look. Besides, Arsenal fans may get jealous if anyone tries to take their Ozil away.

3) Willo Flood

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Poor Willo isn’t exactly built like the side of a house. The way his kit hangs loose off him, you almost feel sorry for Willo but at least he’s a good play… oh never mind.

4) Luke Chadwick

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He’s known as the most unfortunate looking man ever seen on a football pitch. But it’s rumored the MK Dons midfielder did undergo plastic surgery as he’s now a solid 3/10.

5) Franck Ribery

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There’s no denying the guy is an absolute genius footballer but he does slightly resemble Sloth from The Goonies.

6) Leigh Griffiths

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During his time at Hibs, he was dubbed as ‘The Thumb’ by rival Hearts’ supporters, although I’m sure a couple of outstanding free-kicks was enough to shut them up.

7) Peter Crouch

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Crouchy was once famously quoted as saying “If I wasn’t a footballer I’d probably be a virgin.”

Well if it wasn’t for his smoking hot wife Abbey Clancy we’re 99% sure he would be spending this evening alone.

8) Wayne Rooney

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Just like Crouch we’re pretty sure Wazza would be single on Valentines Day if he didn’t have his wife. Saying that, he’d probably just go out granny-hunting.

9) Dirk Kuyt

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A Liverpool legend … and a very, very ugly man.

10) Joleon Lescott

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Not the best football player. Not the best looking either.

11) John Terry

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By all means John Terry isn’t the worst looking guy in the world. But even that suave London accent isn’t enough to make up for the fact he is a complete and utter nonce. Whether its racial abuse, cheating on your missus or sleeping with your team-mates wife, JT has done it all.

12) Luka Modric

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Poor Luka isn’t the most manliest looking footballer is he? And you can’t help looking at him and thinking of Coronation Street’s Gail Platt… sorry Gail.

13) Carlos Tevez

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Compared to a bulldog … for obvious reasons.

14) Ashley Cole

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You can’t be that bad-looking if you were at one stage returning home to Cheryl Cole every night.

But just like his Chelsea team-mate, Terry, Ashley Cole doesn’t exactly have the reputation of being the nicest bloke in town.